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Cat Scan

We took a cat scan today.

Nimitz helped.

Twenty-four hours from now, we will know which flavor of baby we’re having. Instead of “that tap dancer on my bladder”, it will be “our son” or “our daughter” or “our uncooperative little weasel”. We’ll take one step further towards Reality, away from Theoretical.

Right. Like we’re going to end up living anywhere near Reality.

I find myself actually kind of nervous about the whole thing. I mean, what if they find something wrong? What if there’s more than one in there? What if it protests the whole ultrasound thing and decides to bust on out through my belly button? (IT COULD HAPPEN.) Or even worse, what if my baby is ugly??

I just don’t know if I’m a big enough person to love an ugly baby.

As if in preparation for this monumental step we’re taking this week, someone seems to have provided it with a baseball bat. I can’t figure out how else to explain the THWUMP THWUMP that makes me lose my breath, that, more importantly, it should still be way too small to make. It must have help. Or an accomplice. I blame Nimitz.

We have undergone a shift in weather and hormones as well. Up until this week, I was never warm. Never. No matter how many layers of clothing, how warm the room was; if I was comfortable, it meant the room was *entirely* warmer than it should be and everyone else was sweating. And then this week, we hit 80 degrees outside. And it hit about 140 in my shirt. Okay, that’s really just today, and it’s probably because I spent the morning wrestling with Linus (one of Mom’s cats who needed to go see the vet because of an injured paw. Nine pounds of cat should not be able to produce that much resistance, especially because, you know, INJURED PAW WRAPPED IN BANDAGE.). After a solid 45 minutes of fighting with him and exchanging several impolite comments (he started it), I was breathing pretty hard and my heart rate was up pretty high. The Beast Within did not enjoy that and made its discomfort known, so there I sat, on the floor in Mom’s bedroom with a growling cat under the cedar chest, trying to get my heart rate down enough that I wouldn’t lose my bladder and its contents to the Rage Kicks inside. Then, back down to pull the cat out (which would be easier if I could BEND OVER ANYMORE). I’m still not entirely sure how I finally got him — part of me figured if I hurt him, I was taking him to the vet anyways so screw it, so I may have just started yanking harder. Putting his sister in the second carrier was much easier, partly because I was not Having Any Of It anymore, and within two minutes we were out the door and miraculously made our appointment.

The next week or so will mostly be consumed by con prep. Today’s goal: go to Target and find me a maternity swim suit. We will be staying in the hotel, which has an awesome indoor/outdoor pool, and I plan to get into it at least once.

I’m ending this post here on this nice abrupt note because I think I need to pee again, and I have a One Pee Break Per Post rule.

Nimitz Helped Me Write This Post

Well, perhaps “helped” is too strong of a word. She certainly participated, though.

Ben and I went up to New York for the weekend to visit with some of my family for a cousin’s bar mitzvah (and I managed to fail at taking a single picture the entire weekend). We rented an SUV, and I drove up on Friday with my mom and grandparents. Ben still had rehearsal, so he met us up there by train. The bar mitzvah itself was great: Adam did wonderfully, no surprise there, and Pearl and Owen had put together a wonderful party surrounding it. Ben got his first visit to a very Conservative synagogue; his previous experience with me was with our extremely liberal Reconstructionist synagogue.

We had one really fascinating outcome from being away this weekend. All the people we usually ask to feed the cats were out of town as well this weekend (seriously, everyone. It was crazy!). Ben put out lots of water and dry food and we sort of hoped for the best. Well, it seems Nimitz was convinced she’d been abandoned completely, and Lilit got so tired of growling at Nimitz she’s nearly given up. Nimitz now wakes me up 3-4 times a night so she can curl up on my chest and purr at me. During the day, she can go about two hours, and then she needs to find me and sit in my lap and purr for a while. If I’m at the computer, that can quickly evolve into sitting on the mouse with a paw on the keyboard (thus the row of 4s that began as this post’s title). Lilit is, as in most things, much more reasonable about her reaction. She has settled back in, although she now only growls at Nimitz when it’s clear the kitten is intending to jump on her. I really don’t blame her for that one.

We had food debacles again this weekend. The bar mitzvah itself was kosher non-dairy, which was wonderful since it meant I got a piece of chocolate lava cake for dessert (which, seriously? Damn. I must find a recipe. And Kayla, if you’re reading this, I will totally share when I find it.). The hotel restaurant, on the other hand, was amazingly bad in how it dealt with me. My favorite was the breakfast where I told the chef I would like an omelet with ham and onion, no cheese, no butter, no milk, I have a dairy allergy. He put cheese in it, and when I complained to the manager (because seriously, that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen), the manager informed me it was a “miscommunication”, like it was my fault for not being clear enough. And they then charged us the full buffet rate for my stale bagel and cup of coffee that tasted like sawdust. Ben and I went to Dunkin Donuts the next day. (The hotel also had a bunch of other screw-ups in regards to our rooms and the billing, so much so that when it was time to check out, I took my bill and Mom’s, both of which were very wrong, and complained enough we both got the AARP discount that they had denied Mom and Ben and I were never eligible for. Did I mention the part where they tried checking Mom out a day early?)

We’ve done a lot of travel lately. I’m pretty excited to be staying home for a while. I love seeing new places, but the last month has been pretty rough on my stomach. Ben’s got summer camp every day this week and next and we’ve got rehearsals in the evenings, so it’s up to me big time to get our food consumption back on track. I’ve got a big to do list over the next two weeks, and I’m really hoping to knock out as much of it as I can. I have some pretty lofty goals, like getting the back yard into serious shape before the fall, and getting my wardrobe under control. Once the weather cools off and the office is no longer 150° at mid-day, I’ll tackle that, too. Watch out! If I’m not careful, this place will turn into an actual house while nobody’s looking!