Plagues! part two

So I just blacked out for three weeks.  Where was I?

Ah yes!

Plague the 4th– Rhinoviruses.

fear me!

This has been a localized, Megan-sized plague for the most part.  Poor lady!  Just when we turned our keys in at the old place, they swooped in.  Little beasts have been munching on her brains* for weeks now.  Do you know any good, quick, congestion-clearing tricks?  She’s tried everything short of Liquid Plumr.

Plague the 5th–  Chairs.

no, fear me!

You wouldn’t think chairs were a problem, but you’re you, and we’re us, and sometimes our problems don’t make sense.

Looking around the room now, I see no fewer than eight chairs (inc. two stools) and a couch.  There’s another stool in the bedroom, two chairs in the storage closet, four folding chairs stacked in the sideboard, three gaming chairs in the coat closet, and four patio chairs on our deck.  Oh, and there are three chairs in our cars now to go out to family storage, on top of two more folding chairs that already went away– but forget those.  Let’s just talk what’s physically in the apartment.

Per Heiney’s Law, the furnishings in a one-bedroom apartment should not exceed S =  3.5 B, where S is the number of individual ‘seats’ in a domicile, and B is the number of butts possessed by leaseholders or permanent occupants.  As Megan and I each possess only one butt, S = 7 should be our target; enough seats so that we can have a few people over (5) in a comfortable fashion.  A larger party than that, and people will be standing or shifting position frequently, and excess furniture will only get in the way.

Include all the chairs stored in the apartment and count the couch (conservatively) as only two seats, and what do we find?

S = 24

Twenty-four.  Megan and I would need 6.86 butts apiece to justify this many chairs.  (Assuming that we, as multi-butted or ‘poly-gluted’ people, would still have single-butted friends.)

Don’t let this happen to you.


All said, we made it through the move alive and sane.  Takes more than a few plagues to keep a good couple down.   Thanks to everyone who helped or supported the move directly; and to the rest of you, thanks for your thoughts.


*That’s how colds work, right?

Posted on January 15, 2010, in Uncategorized, Us and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Is this an example of higher or lower math? And do the number of legs of the individual chairs or stools enter into the space occupied portion of the equation – i.e., does a stool (1) count for less than an actual chair(4) and does a couch(4) equate to the balancing ladder (2) ? There’s a thesis here somewhere….

    • Actually, if we’re going to keep going with this, then we need to factor in the cat as well. The Laws of Feline Physics include “If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat”. How does that factor in numerically?

  1. Pingback: Caffeine « rhombusbomb

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: